


Detangler

by loversandantiheroes



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hair Brushing, Shippy if you Squint, caduceus is too skinny and jester has a concern, squinting is allowed, team cleric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 19:04:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17986871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loversandantiheroes/pseuds/loversandantiheroes
Summary: Sea salt does not agree with firbolg hair.  Set sometime during The Mighty Nein's time on the Squall-Eater, before landing at Darktow.





	Detangler

Jester’s halfway to her room when the door on her right opens.  Fjord pauses, half-in and half-out of the door frame and gives her a jerky, awkward little nod.  “Takin’ first watch with Yasha tonight,” he says, waving a wadded bundle of cloth. “Needed my coat.”

Jester smiles, blinking away the awkwardness.  “Okay. Good night.”

Fjord inhales, gulping out a strangled “Yep!”  There’s a muttering that might be “good night” as he hurries quickly down the hall and up the stairs, leaving the cabin door open in his haste.

Jester sighs, watching him go with a mix of disappointment (bad) and a little bit of relief (worse), and leans in to tug the door closed.

“Good night, Caduceus,” she says sticking her head around the door frame.  
  
Caduceus doesn’t seem to hear her.  He stands stripped to the waist in front of a polished metal mirror tugging furtively at his bundled hair, a look of consternation twisting his usually serene features.  For a second all she can do is gawk. He’s a gangly enough figure clothed, broad but strangely slender, but as he stands now she could count far more of his bones than she should be able to.  He huffs in a breath and for a second the outline of his ribcage is so stark it makes her wince.

“Oh, hey,” Caduceus says, unwinding his fingers from his hair.  He turns and all but disappears sideways, just a grey, bony smudge of pink and grey, before resting against the wash table, broad hands on bony knees.  “Did you need something, Miss Jester?”

She’s so taken aback her immediate thought tumbles out of her mouth without censor.  “Oh my god, Caduceus, how do your pants stay up?”

He frowns, head tilting, for a second reminding her of Nugget.  Then he laughs. “A bit of rope and a good prayer, mostly.”

“Are you ok?” she asks, closing the door with her heel as she steps quickly forward to reach up on tip toe for his forehead.  “Are you sick?” The words “are you eating enough?” almost leave her, but that’s ridiculous. They almost always take their meals together, and while the firbolg might be a bit picky, she’s certainly seen him eat.

He laughs again, parrying her hands gently and gathering them up with a gentle pat.  “I’m fine, seriously, I’m fine. It’s...well it’s a thing. Runs in the family. But it’s nothing to worry about.  Just means I run a bit on the thin side, is all.”

She scowls, giving her best you-better-tell-me-the-truth face.  “Are you sure? You’re not like, cursed by an evil witch or something?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Like, really, _really_ sure?”

He thinks a moment, chewing at the inside of his mouth.  “Pretty solidly sure, yeah.”

“I can do zone of truth, you know.”

“I mean you can certainly do that, if it’s the sort of thing that’d make you feel better.”

She grumbles, then pokes him once, gently, in the fuzzy hollow of his chest, resisting a very strong urge to cast Remove Curse just out of pure stubbornness.  “If it was something I could help you with, you’d tell me, right?”

There’s a considerable pause as he thinks on that.  Then he nods, the tangled knot of his hair bouncing ridiculously on the top of his head.  “Yeah. If you could help, I’d tell you.”

She relaxes a little before jabbing her finger at his chest again.  “When we get back to land I am going to get so many doughnuts and you are going to help me eat them.  Deal?”

Caduceus laughs, one of his big hearty-but-puzzled laughs.  “That's a deal.  Now, uh, if you’ll pardon me, I need to get this mess sorted out,” he says, tugging at his hair.

“Do you want some help?” she says, singsongly.  “It might be easier if you had someone else do it.”

Another pause, this one even longer.  Then he hands her a comb of thick, smooth bone.  “Y’know what? Yeah. That would be nice.”

He’s so tall he has to sit on the floor so she can reach the top of his head properly.  She folds herself up on the end of the bunk and sets to work on the matted pink mess in front of her.  It’s slow going. His hair is astonishingly thick, and the sea air has laced it heavily with salt. Eventually she brings the water basin over, dipping the comb over and over and trying to slowly wash out the worst of it.  Caduceus is unusually tense at first, flinching whenever she catches a tangle too harshly, but slowly the tension in his shoulders seems to ease.

“See?  It’s much easier with help,” she says as he leans back against her legs and she starts working her fingers through his hair, smoothing it out.  “I used to do this for mama all the time. When she was performing I would put her hair up with ribbons and flowers and sometimes these tiny gold chains.  Then at the end of the night I would take it all back down again. She always said I did her hair the best, and it never-ever hurt.”

“I think your mother might be onto something,” he says with a sigh.  “That feels much better.”

She grins, humming brightly.  “Ok, but like, really important question, Caduceus.”  Jester rests her chin on his forehead, tipping his head back.

“Hmm?”

“How do you feel about _braids?”_ Jester spreads her hands, as if making the sales pitch of the century.

“Hm.  Braids, huh?”

_“Yeeaaaah.”_  The tiniest crowd cheer.

The firbolg’s eyes narrow thoughtfully.  “Go for it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have been sitting on this dumb little thing for ages in the hopes that at some point we'd get confirmation as to whether or not Caduceus was still too skinny for his own good. Now that we have I feel like I can finally toss this out there. FWIW, I'm definitely playing with the notion that a fair few of us seem to have, that Caduceus might have some form of affliction tied to the blight that's encroaching on the temple. Mostly I just wanted an excuse for Jester to poke him in the ribcage and threaten him with donuts. And then braid his hair.


End file.
